Advice I’d Give My Younger Self

Honesty is getting harder to come by these days.

People are afraid to speak their mind. Afraid to offend the crowd.

So they stay silent.

Because speaking up comes with risks. Like being labeled racist, sexist, or homophobic. And for many, the cost to their reputation feels too high.

But I’ll say it.

I don’t agree with modern feminism and the so called “sexual freedom movement”.

It’s no secret women are highly sexualized in our society. From music to social media platforms - everything is about sex.

I see it everywhere. Young girls trying to fit in so they can be cool. Sexualizing their bodies online for attention.

These girls are usually coming of age. They don’t know any better. They’re trying to figure themselves out. All while wanting to be seen and accepted by their friends.

This isn’t their fault.

The problem is our society. The fact that people find it easier to talk about sex toys than they do feelings - is the problem.

Dare tell someone that sleeping around might hurt them, and you’ll be accused of slut-shaming.

It’s no wonder so many relationships are dysfunctional.

Casual sex has caused disconnection.

Instead of something meaningful and intimate.

Sex has become a pawn, in a game called “who can care less”.

It Starts with Honesty

We need to stop expecting people to understand without showing them the bruises.

It’s time we be vulnerable.

Share how it felt to lose your virginity to someone you didn’t love.

Be honest.

Don’t let others repeat the mistake. I can’t stress this enough! I’ve seen so many people peer-pressure friends into sleeping around, just because they did.

I remember telling a friend that I wished I had waited for love. To my surprise, she replied, “Me too.”

Her response stunned me.

This was the same friend who had made me feel so bad about my virginity—like I was unwanted and undesirable.

Yet, she regretted it too?

How come she didn’t she tell me? Why let me make the same mistake? Because…

People will encourage others to engage in empty behaviours so they don’t feel alone.

Unless you want to be living the life of the person giving the advice - don’t take it.

Affection is so much more than the act of sex and the most intimate moments I share with my husband are non sexual. Holding hands and embracing each other.

You Don’t Need Birth Control

It might feel like an easy fix, if you’re struggling with acne or painful periods.

But don’t do it. Instead learn to listen to your body. It’s trying to tell you something…

I took birth control because it was the cool thing to do at the time. All my friends were on it, and it was something to bond over.

But birth control has some seriously bad health effects and has been linked to chronic inflammation, mood and autoimmune disorders. Not to mention it increases your risk of breast, cervical cancer and liver cancer. Plus it puts you at increased risk of heart disease and stroke.

Women on birth control are 130% more likely to develop depression than women naturally tracking their cycles.

Birth control can also affect who you’re attracted to. Studies show that women on birth control tend to be attracted to more feminine men.

So why not learn to track your cycle naturally? You can easily avoid pregnancy without the harmful effects of birth control. It’s called the “natural family planning method”.

Don’t Waste Your Time on The Wrong Crowd

Things don’t change when you grow up. I use to think that everyone got married and that grown ups knew better. But that’s not true and there are good and bad people in every occupation and in every stage of life.

I use to be so scared to share my opinions with others.

But why tip toe around things and subjects?

The sooner you know where someone stands the faster you can move on and find people that support and value you as a person.

Remember that you are the sum of your three closest friends, so make sure you find people that align with your values and push you towards your goals.

Not everyone is going to like you and that’s a good thing.

You have one reputation, don’t waste it. Stand for what you truly believe in and let the rest go.

Something my mom always told me growing up.

“people that stand out as kids, stand out as an adult”

Stop Consuming and Start Creating

So many of us go through the motions of life, falling into patterns created by society.

Instead I challenge you to forge your own path.

My biggest regret is not starting social media sooner. This is our golden opportunity.

Why not become a voice of the future?

Start an instagram or youtube channel.

Learn a new skill like sewing, drawing or playing an instrument.

What’s holding you back?

Become the change you wish to see in the world, the person you needed growing up.

Start dreaming big, striving towards your higher purpose.